Sad But True

This week I attended a “roundtable” discussion of ministry leaders in the Chicagoland area. We had been invited to talk together about how we thought we could make a difference in the Chicago metro area for Christ.

         

One of the things we were asked to do was to identify challenges or barriers to making progress in influencing people for Jesus. What are the things that prevent us from collaborating with others to make a difference? There were many things listed but two things stuck me as sad and true.

         

One of the items identified was self-interest and self-preservation. We are so easily turned inward. Congregations are created as communities of people. We talk about our “church family”. Communities and families are about relationships with one another. We help one another. We take care of one another. We enjoy one another. But rarely do we turn outward. Rarely do we think about how we can help other people, or serve the community, or give things away. When congregational leaders begin to focus on serving the community, inevitably there will be protests from within. “They care a lot more about the community than they do us.”

         

Congregations and ministries are only a product of what happens to us individually. The original sin is self-interest. The story of Adam and Eve tells us that they lived in the perfect situation, but were unsatisfied and wanted more for themselves. We are in an election year and one of the major concerns voiced over and again has to do with the economy. Who can make sure there is more money in my pocket? Few of us wonder which leader will help us serve others better.

         

It is sad that one of the challenges of changing communities is self-interest in that our founder, Jesus, came to give Himself away. He loved us so much he died for us! That is serving.

         

Too often we want our church, or ministry, or ourselves to get credit for what takes place. I cringe when I hear ministry leaders use the personal pronoun too often and talk about “my staff”, “my congregation” and “my ministry”. I try to avoid that language, but no doubt fall prey to my own self-interest on occasion.

         

The other barrier that stuck with me was lack of trust. Christian institutions, organizations, ministries and individuals don’t trust one another. We have partnered with others before and we have been burned. Promises have been made and unkept. Decisions have been arrived at and altered. Energy has been invested without reciprocity.

         

In every church I have served, there have been groups, and individuals, who don’t trust leaders. Whether it was Elders, Deacons, Administrative Boards or staff members, there has always seemed to be suspicion, a belief that people weren’t being honest, or a belief that the leaders were trying to “pull a fast one.”

         

I have never found that to be the case. Sometimes communication is the problem. Sometimes people make mistakes and things don’t turn out as planned. More often than not, it is an attitude of mistrust that has developed and that attitude colors everything.

         

Self-interest and mistrust. I am prone to both myself and I need to constantly examine my heart and mind to avoid both of these natural land mines.

         

We could make more progress in influencing people to be more like Jesus if we could get out of our own way.

         

Sad, but true.

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Ask Kate

Last Sunday in worship I included the story of Katie Heintz, a 16 year old who fought a valiant battle against leukemia and taught many lessons of faith along the way. This reflection will be about another Kate.

This Kate was “dragged” to church by her parents when she was 14 or 15 years old. The word “dragged” is almost literal. I remember the first time I met her. It was clear that she didn’t want to be there, or to have any part of this whole “Christianity” thing. Kate was feisty and was clear about her feelings. She would be as disinterested as possible when she arrived. She didn’t participate in worship. She slumped in her seat when I preached and as soon as the service was over, she nearly sprinted out the door.

Every Sunday I greeted Kate as if she was my long lost friend. Our Youth Pastor did the same and engaged her in conversation. Her parents were embarrassed by her responses and her seeming disdain for the whole thing. But every time Katie showed up we “loved on her.”

Over the course of time the Holy Spirit broke through Kate’s external armor. She let down her guard. She began to tease with me some, and later actually began to greet me like she was happy to see me. She hung around after church and talked with people. She slowly began to listen and participate. Don’t get me wrong, she didn’t do it enthusiastically, just with less anger!

Eventually, Kate fell in love with Jesus and came to worship with a zest and enthusiasm that far exceeded the negativity she had previously displayed. Kate has graduated from college and is embracing a career in the Chicago area. She lives in the city, but periodically she and her boyfriend make the trek to the suburbs for worship at ECRC. A young woman who had to be “dragged” to worship, now goes through the hassle of driving to the “burbs” to attend!

This is a tribute to the transformative power of God’s love. When God’s people “…love others as they love themselves,” lives are transformed. It wasn’t one person who helped Kate embrace Jesus. It was the body of Christ, all loving as Christ loved, that made a difference. Kate’s parents loved her enough to make her come to worship and be in the presence of God’s love, and God’s love overwhelmed her.

Recently one of our staff members shared some research that indicates that only 2% of church members have ever invited a person who hasn’t embraced Christ to worship. The same research also indicated that 88% of non-Christians would be open to that kind of invitation.

Really? All we would have to do would be to invite people to worship and that might be life transforming?

Ask Kate.

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Run Over by a Truck

Wednesday morning I was run over by a truck.

         

At least that is the way it felt. I got the call telling me that Sarah, a young woman from our congregation, had died following complications from a routine medical procedure.

         

Sarah was 29 and extremely bright. She worked in the financial world and was in an MBA program at University of Chicago. Her husband, Ben, is in a Ph.D. program at Wheaton College. Young, intelligent, dedicated disciples of Jesus Christ with a bright future before them. Suddenly, unexpectedly, tragically, one of them is gone.

         

I felt like I had been run over by a truck.

         

No matter how many times over the years I have received this kind of tragic news about a congregant or an acquaintance, it still wipes me out. I get a feeling in my stomach that is like the aftermath of having the wind knocked out of me, but it never goes away.

         

How do you respond?

         

I am a person whose life-work centers around oral communication and who has embraced the task of communicating God’s word to people. On these occasions I feel stymied. Over time I have learned that there is nothing I can say that will change anything, or make the situation less tragic or devastating. I have changed my prayers in these situations from asking God to give me the right words, to asking God to help me to listen well and to be appropriate; to be fully present with others emotionally. One thing I don’t do is to try and spiritualize things, which often makes it feel like you are dismissing the heaviness of the loss.

         

When I received the news I wanted to go home and hug my wife and call my kids. It was the same reaction I had on 9/11/2001. My immediate response to the collapsing of the twin towers was to find my family and hug them. When I am overwhelmed by loss my reaction is to want to make sure those I love know I love them.

           

I find comfort in knowing that Sarah has inherited eternal life. But that comfort is weighed down by sorrow. I carry a heavy heart for Ben and the rest of their family and friends who have a gaping hole in their lives.

         

God and I are having some serious discussions.

         

Today the opening words of Psalm 4 echo in my mind:

          “Answer us when we call to you,

          O righteous God.

          Give us relief from our distress;

          be merciful to us and hear our prayer.” (Psalm 4:1)

         

(I have substituted plural pronouns for the singular because I believe this is the prayer of many today.)

         

Please join me in praying for Ben and for his and Sarah’s family and friends, during this very difficult time. And go hug the people you love!

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