Shaking our Head

At first glance I shook my head in disbelief.

In 2007 an 18 year girl had turned her SUV into the path of a motorcycle and the cyclist had died. She had been drinking prior to the accident and had pleaded guilty to DUI. The case was just settled in court. That’s right, five years later. With a plea bargain. Her punishment was probation.

Are you shaking your head?

So many things made me shake my head; an underage drinker; driving under the influence; the tragedy of those two factors leading to the death of an innocent motorcyclist; the fact that it took five years to reach any kind of conclusion; and the punishment....probation. Really? Probation?

Are you shaking your head?

Well, the rest of the story will really make you shake your head.

The mother of the deceased motorcyclist was in the courtroom for the conclusion of this long, difficulty saga. Following the verdict and announcement of the punishment, the mother of the victim waited for the young woman outside the courtroom. When the woman who had caused her son’s death appeared, she walked up to her and gave her a big hug.

Are you shaking your head?

For the mother, it was the culmination of a journey that began in anger at the young woman whom she blamed for her son’s death. It ended in sympathy.

“You can never forget. But you can forgive,” she said.

The mother originally wanted the young woman to be harshly punished. But in court she sensed her remorse. Forgiving her and embracing her were the right things to do. “My son was the type who would forgive,” she said.

Are you shaking your head?

For most of us forgiveness is an intellectual concept. Or something that we have practiced in relationships where the price has not been the taking of an innocent life. To read about this kind of forgiveness makes us shake our heads. It is hard to imagine.

Of all the things Jesus taught, forgiveness may be the most powerful and at the same time most difficult for us. It was a revolutionary concept in Jesus’ day. German political theorist Hannah Arendt, the first woman appointed to a full professorship at Princeton University, claimed that forgiveness and love of enemies is a distinctively Christian contribution to the human race: “the discoverer of the role of forgiveness in the realm of human affairs was Jesus of Nazareth.”

We are very happy to receive God’s forgiveness for all our bungling, but we tend to not be so good at distributing it to others; especially those we consider our “enemies”.           

I am reminded of this when I hear how we talk about people who represent political parties and stances we oppose. Or when I listen to people talk about ex-spouses. Or when I hear followers of Jesus talk about other followers of Jesus who have a different view of His love, grace and mercy. Certainly they are the enemy and are not to be affiliated with, let alone embraced.

I hear it in the way we talk about people, or churches in our same denomination who are viewed as the enemy; too liberal or conservative, not holding true to “our teachings,” seemingly compromising standards.  

It is most painful when I hear myself, or others, talk about people in our own congregation as if they are the enemy.

That’s when God is shaking His head.

“Forgive us our (debts, trespasses, sins),

As we forgive those who are our (debtors, trespassers, sinners).”

Those words are easy to pray, but when we try to put them into practice it will make us shake our heads.

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