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Rev's Reflections

FATHERHOOD

Just before Mother’s Day I wrote about mothers and in particular, my mother.  To make sure I give equal time, I write about fathers today.  It is an area where I have more experience, yet would certainly consider myself less than an expert.  Any success I experienced as a father is due to the grace of God and my wonderful wife!

Let me share some thoughts under a few topical headings.

PAIN:  This is what I have to write about before anything else.  As much joy, satisfaction, laughter, tenderness, and pure wonderment that being a father provides, there are moments of tremendous pain. A current area of pain is that we are estranged from our oldest son.  It is a long and complicated story.

We hear from Ben periodically.  He is usually upbeat about his life and what is happening at the moment, but we are saddened that we don’t see him, or hear from him often, or even know that much about what he is up to currently.  It is painful, but it is also our current reality and one we are willing to accept, even though it isn’t ideal or desirable.  In some ways, the only thing more painful than our estrangement might be being closer to him.  That has been terribly painful in the past.

There have been other painful moments in being a father.  Words spoken I later regret, modeling behaviors that didn’t always reflect the image of Christ, watching my children suffer from a relational breakup, or an academic or athletic disappointment, or standing by helplessly as they made some choices we thought might bring pain, but they had to make the choices themselves, trying to bring them comfort as they mourned the death of someone who meant a great deal to them. 

Being a father can be painful.

FEAR:  Being a father can produce a lot of fear in your life.  When our middle son was born (our first biological child) we had no experience in a birthing room and didn’t know what to expect.  The labor was long and difficult.  But finally, Jesse was born.  They cut the cord and the doctor took him off to the side.  The doctor huddled with the nurses and there were whispers between them.  We sensed something was wrong.  Then after what seemed like an hour (it was only a matter of seconds), we heard a baby’s cry.  Apparently Jesse had some trouble breathing immediately.  It scared us to death.

              

There is the fear that your children might not fit in, succeed, progress, or be successful (however you would define success). 

              

There is the fear that something we may have said or done would alienate our children from us in later years; the fear that they wouldn’t find a career path; the fear that they wouldn’t return from a trip, or pass a test, or make good decisions when confronted with difficult issues.

               Being a father can be filled with fear.

FORGIVENESS:  I want my children to forgive me for anything I may have said or done that continues to haunt them, or that scarred them.  I want them to forgive me for anger that was inappropriately expressed, for any lack of vulnerability on my part, for being too controlling at times.  I want them to forgive me for any time I may have squelched their spirits, or their ambitions, or their hopes.  I want them to forgive me for any time I may have used their accomplishments, or achievements, or successes to fulfill my own ego needs and need for recognition.  I want them to forgive me for any pressure they may have felt because of my personality, or position, or passions.

               Being a father means you need to be forgiven.

JOY:  I want to thank my children for all the joy they have brought to my life.  We have laughed a lot together and have done some really silly things.  For the joy of their successes in games, and school, and relationships, and in finding vocations to which they feel called and for which they have passion.  I want to thank my son for giving me a second daughter in his wife and for the joy of expecting our first grandchild.  I want to thank them for the joy we felt when they each made profession of faith and for the expressions of faith in their lives today.  I want to thank them for closing every phone conversation with this simple phrase, “I love you.” 

               Being a father brings a lot of joy!

I want to thank my heavenly Father for entrusting to me the role of father and for giving me wisdom, strength, patience, perseverance, and for making up for all my weaknesses by filling in the gaps.

~Rev

THE VALUE OF CAPTIVITY

The mind is a powerful thing.  Our thoughts shape our behavior, our perceptions, and our relationships.  The Bible tells us that we are “…transformed by the renewal of our minds.” (Romans 12:2) What we think about informs our heart and soul.

Many of us are plagued with negative thoughts about ourselves.
     “I’m no good.  I’ll always fail.  I’ll never amount to anything.”
     “My life doesn’t matter.  No one really cares about me.  If I disappeared, no one would notice, much less care.”
     “No matter how hard I try, I’ll never make a difference.  It seems like I mess up everything I do.”
     “God could never love me.  After all I’ve done, why would God care about me, I’m worthless.”
     “My life stinks.  And it’s only going to get worse.  I’ll never get a break.  There’s no way I can change the way I am.”
     “I have to take care of myself.  No one else, especially God, comes through for me.  I better grab whatever I can whenever I get the chance.”
     “I’ve got some people fooled.  If people only knew what I was like on the inside; my thoughts, my feelings, how I use my time and my priorities, they would have a different opinion.”

We all suffer from some negative thinking about ourselves.  And if our mind focuses on negative things, then we are transformed into negative people.

The root of most negative behavior is the false beliefs we embrace inwardly.  In order to be the person God has created us to be, we must identify and reject the toxic thoughts that keep us from God’s best.
“For as (a person) thinks in his heart, so is he.”  (NKJV)

God thinks much more highly of us than we tend to think of ourselves.  We are His chosen, adopted children for whom He sent His only Son, who suffered and died on our behalf.  God loves us unconditionally, which for me means, that God loves me in spite of myself.  He has prepared things for us to do on His behalf here and trusts us to accomplish His work and desires!

I need to be reminded of that more often.  Abraham Lincoln said, “I want to know all God’s thoughts.  All the rest are just details.”  Pastor and author Craig Groeschel writes, “Our thoughts are either focused on what’s eternal, life-changing, and true, or lost in the details of our temporary, selfish, false beliefs.”

Our lives are a battlefield.  To win the battle we need to control the battlefield, “Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life.”  (Proverbs 4:23, CEV)

Mindlessness is not failing to think.  It is failing to think properly about ourselves.  It is failing to pay attention to our thoughts and how they impact our relationships, work, and lives.

We think of imprisonment and captivity as negative things.  However, they can be valuable.  “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”  (II Corinthians 10:5)

~Rev

Showing Up

Playing college football sounds glamorous to many.  However, playing Division III athletics has no resemblance to what we know of Division I athletics.  There are no plane flights to play away games.  There are no giant stadiums full of adoring fans.  There is no special treatment or special favors done for athletes.

My college football career included trips to Upland, Indiana, Olivet, Michigan, Greencastle, Indiana and Defiance, Ohio.  Not exactly tourist destinations.

One memorable game was played against Georgetown University.  Not the one located in Washington D.C.  The one located in Georgetown, Kentucky.  We traveled by bus on a Friday night, stayed in a motel, played the game and returned home following the game, which made for a very long day.  Back in the day there were no beautiful football fields with artificial turf.  Everything was natural.  This particular field was horribly uneven.  When our receivers ran pass patterns into the end zone they disappeared over a hill. 

My father attended as many of my games as possible, but he traveled a lot for his work and didn’t always want to make a long road trip on Saturday for football.  He had looked at the schedule and had let me know that the Georgetown, Kentucky game was not a possibility for him. 

The pre-game ceremonies were over and the game was about to begin when I heard a familiar voice yell, “Let’s go Hope!”  I turned, and much to my surprise, there was my dad.  He had gone out of his way to show up in Georgetown, Kentucky to support my teammates and me.  His presence spoke volumes to me about sacrifice; encouragement, supporting others, and going out of your way for people you care about. 

Showing up is important.  You don’t always have to have something to say, or something to give, or something to offer.  Showing up, being present, can make all the difference in the world. 

The incarnation, God becoming a human being, is about God showing up for us.  When we feel all alone.  When we think no one really cares.  When we are ready to give up on others.  God always shows up!

Even in Georgetown, Kentucky.

RAISE YOUR EBENEZER

               It’s the “kickoff” of the summer season!

               It’s time to open the cottage!

               It’s a three day weekend!

Such is our perspective on Memorial Day weekend.

Memorial Day weekend often marks an opportunity for families to gather, to enjoy the first taste of what summer will bring, to get away from home and visit others, or if you are lucky enough, to open the cottage.  When we lived in Traverse City Memorial Day weekend was important for economic reasons.  When you live in a tourist town every long summer weekend is important for financial survival.

              

Lost in all of this is the origin of Memorial Day.  It is a government holiday set aside to remember those from our Armed Services who have given their lives in defense of our nation.  In many communities there will be parades, services and acknowledgements of this origin.  However, those celebrations are overshadowed by other cultural priorities.

Remembrance is important.  Pausing to give thanks is central to the lives of those of us who follow Jesus. Jesus taught:  “Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)  Laying down your life for someone is an act of love.  Remembering those who have done that is important. 

The hymn, “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing”, written in 1758, contains this line:

               “Here I raise my Ebenezer”. 

It is a phrase that is taken directly from a story in I Samuel 7:12.  The people of Israel have been engaged in a long series of battles with the Philistines.  The Philistines captured the ark of the covenant, a symbol of God’s presence for the Israelites.  God sent plagues on the Philistines and they returned the ark, but more battles ensued.  Samuel offered sacrifices to God and prayed fervently for deliverance and when the Philistines approached God thundered with a great thunder and in the confusion that followed the Israelites defeated the Philistines.

As a reminder of the great victory God gave to Israel, Samuel took a stone and raised it as a memorial.  He called the stone Ebenezer, or “stone of help” saying, “Thus far, has the Lord helped us.”  (I Samuel 7:12)  Whenever the Israelites looked at the stone, they would remember how God had helped them.  When we sing those lyrics, we are remembering that we only are who we are, have what we have, and have accomplished, what we have accomplished by God’s providence, love and strength. 

              

So, while we are relaxing this weekend, or enjoying the weather, or family, or food, or second homes, let’s pause and remember, that we are who we are, have what we have and have accomplished what we have accomplished, because of the sacrifice of others and God’s blessing.

~Rev

PRISONERS

No doubt you have shaken your head a few times, wondered how it was possible, and found some of the information stomach turning.  I am assuming that because I am not sure how any human being could respond to the information that continues to be made available concerning the three young women who were held captive for 10 years in a home in Cleveland differently. 

              

There are many questions that I have and you probably as well.

Regardless of our questions, the reality is that these women were held prisoner and subjected to horrific treatment for ten years, and then were set free.

Not to belittle their torture, or the horrific treatment to which they were subjected, this story is a metaphor for our lives.

We are all held prisoner.  We are imprisoned by our fears, our success, and our failures.  We are imprisoned by an image we are trying to maintain and emotional events of the past, by people’s expectations, by our status, and by our needs.  We are imprisoned by addictions, by materialism, and by our perceptions. 

The Apostle Paul talks about our prison:

“For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.”  (Romans 7:22-23)

We are prisoners of things we don’t even realize imprison us.  We are held in our own house of horrors. 

Paul draws this conclusion:

“What a wretched man I am!  Who will rescue me from this death?  Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!”  (Romans 7:24-25)

Jesus rescued us from our eternal imprisonment; from living in our own eternal “house of horrors”.  We are delivered from whatever imprisons us currently and from our eternal prison. 

The women who had been held prisoners and their families celebrate their release with unbridled joy. 

Our lives should be lives lived with unbridled joy!

~Rev

               

Mother's Day

I am violating one of my “rules”:  Men shouldn’t write about Mother’s Day. 

It is fraught with danger.  Inevitably you will write something that will come across as sexist, insensitive, and wrong.  I long ago gave up on Mother’s Day sermons.  They either produce guilt or they make mother’s feel like failures because you lay out unrealistic expectations that come across as authoritative.  Or you are insensitive to the women in the congregation who have not been able to become mothers for a variety of reasons. 

When my kids were younger I would work with them on gifts for their mom that they either created themselves, or shopped for with me.  Now they are all grown and launched and are on their own when it comes to honoring their mom.  I think Becky has been, and continues to be a wonderful mom, to our children.  She makes up for all of my shortcomings.  But she is not my mom, she is my kid’s mom.  They should honor her. 

I will honor my mom.  The older I get, the more I stand in awe of her.  She is 87 and recently wrote in an email that she had gone golfing last week.  She has cut her golf down to two days a week in the summer and apologizes for taking a cart! 

My mom lost her first husband in WWII, leaving her a widow with an infant daughter (my sister).  She later married my dad and my brother and I were born. 

My parents divorced when I was 14 and my brother was 11.  My mom was a single parent long before it became “normal” and acceptable.  She was working full-time and raising two teenage boys on her own.  My brother and I were active in every sport imaginable and other school activities as well.  Our mom was dedicated to keeping our lives as “normal” as possible and not to have us miss out on anything due to our family situation. 

Like most teenagers, I didn’t appreciate my mom’s situation and the time, effort and spiritual and emotional energy she invested in our lives.  However, as I have raised my own family, I can appreciate all she did more fully.

At times I would wonder, “How did she do it?”  Then an image would come to my mind.   As a teenager, I would get up and sleepily stumble into the kitchen for breakfast.  My mom would already be up, sitting at the table with her cup of coffee and her Bible.  She did it every day, without fail. 

How do you find the strength, wisdom, perseverance and courage to raise two teenage boys on your own?  You begin the day seeking God’s perspective, insight and wisdom.  “Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5,6)

My mom was a great role model for me, and for all parents. 

Happy Mother’s Day!

Remember When?

“Remember when….?” 

              

That was the phrase that dominated conversations I was engaged in last weekend. Becky and I attended my 40^th Class Reunion at Hope College. 40 years!  I can’t believe how old some of my classmates looked!  Of course many of us lied to one another saying, “You haven’t changed a bit.”  Not only was it not true, but I was glad it wasn’t true.

              

Many of the “Remember when…?”, stories among my friends were embarrassing today. We were young, immature, and taking advantage of being away from home, out of our parents reach, for the first time.  Some of us handled it well.  Many of us didn’t. 

              

There was a slide show of scenes from our college years.  Campus events, worship services, choir performances, sports, and social gatherings. We laughed at the length of our hair and the shortness of skirts.  We really thought we looked good at the time. Now, they cause you to shake your head in bewilderment. 

              

We gravitated toward the same people we had “hung with” in college, each of us in our social groups.  Even that seemed odd now. The barriers that existed between us in the early 70’s that seemed so important at the time were wiped out over the years. What we had in common now is life experience. Rather than viewing life in college through the windshield, we were looking in the rearview mirror. It changes things.

              

Some of the conversation turned to theology. “We’re only still here by God’s grace.”  (We had done some things that could have been life threatening.)  “Good thing God is merciful and will forgive us.” (Some of our exploits didn’t honor God at all.) “God loves us in spite of our selves.  (Phew!)

              

I loved college! We still stay in touch with many of our college friends and get together with them whenever we are able.  My college years were the most formative years of my life.  I had a chance to mature in an environment that gave me freedom with limits.  I had people in my life that loved me enough to hold me accountable for my emotional, intellectual and spiritual growth.  I was challenged to take my faith in Christ more seriously and truly commit to Jesus.  I met the love of my life!

              

Not everyone is a reunion person.  Even if you don’t attend your high school or college reunions, it is good to periodically reflect on our lives.  We can “remember when…?” taking note of the journey that God has had us on and acknowledge with thanksgiving His mercy, grace and love.  We are reminded that what we are engaged in now will matter in the future. 

God is never done with us! 

That is something to celebrate.

~Rev

Pitchin’ In

In the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing, stories have emerged of acts of kindness, generosity and service.  The stories are innumerable and no doubt you have seen many of them. They range from people in the crowd who were watching the marathon racing to help those injured with immediate first aid attention, to law enforcement, EMT’s and other medical personnel who responded in such a way that the death toll was limited and injuries were less severe than they might have been.

I saw the story of a teenage girl who was in the crowd and struck by shrapnel. A fellow spectator who designed a makeshift tourniquet to stave off the bleeding tended her to first. A police officer came and helped get her to a medical tent.  A marathon volunteer spoke to her to calm her fears and lessen her anxiety and a doctor, who was in the tent originally to serve runners, tended to her injuries. Their combined efforts saved her from losing her leg and may have saved her life.  The story depicted her meeting all of these people a week later and her expressions of gratitude.  It was very moving.

              

This was only one story of many that would be similar, or even more amazing!

              

This past week I have witnessed similar efforts upfront and personally. Acts that were not necessarily life saving but amazing acts of kindness, generosity and service. 

              

Last Thursday the lower level of our facility (22, 000 sq. ft.) was filled with an inch or two of water.  Every classroom, every open space, our youth room, storage; water was everywhere.  People immediately sprung into action.  Members of our congregation who own and operate businesses that clean up such “messes” sprung into action and their crews were immediately on the scene.  Congregants called us to ask how they could help and went into overdrive, some to lead the charge, others to assist in any way possible.

              

Our ministry leaders proved to be wonderfully resilient and resourceful as they made alternate plans for Sunday morning and for our weekday events.

              

Monday night we hosted a “drywall removal party”.  The walls on the lower level had to have the drywall removed on at least one side at a 2 ft. height.  People were invited to show up any time between 4 and 9. 

I was on duty to utilize my amazing construction skills.  I am an expert at demolition, not construction!  As I was working, I was amazed at the people who were showing up to pitch in.  Not only the number of people who showed up, but the demographic.  Business owners, working along side high school students; full-time homemakers wielding hammers and pry bars next to accountants, lawyers, and pastors; fathers and sons, sons younger than teens, chipping in to help.  It was an amazing outpouring of kindness, generosity, and service. 

And that outpouring didn’t stop in our building.  Many people in our body were doing the same thing for neighbors and friends and neighbors whose homes had been flooded.

This doesn’t surprise me because the body of Christ does this naturally.  In crises we step up and help.  Even though it doesn’t surprise me, I still am amazed.  It is a visible reminder of why I love the body of Christ and how God’s are used to minister to one another.

I hope you all have a body you can rely on in your time of need.

~Rev

Replacement Tragedies

The nation was shocked, appalled, horrified, offended, and yes, terrorized on Monday with the bombings at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. Constant news coverage and an avalanche of commentary on social media dominated our lives.  The incident raised questions we had put away for a while.  Why?  Who?  How do we make sense of this?  Are we safe anywhere? 

Worship and prayer services have been and are being held.  Flags are flying at half-mast and dark clouds hang over our lives.  It dominates our conversations.

              

I didn’t want to write about it. 

I wondered if that meant I was becoming calloused to these things.  Or, worse set, terrorism was becoming part of my new normal.  I didn’t want to write about it because I have nothing new to say that hasn’t been said.  I felt speechless. 

              

But I am writing about it because I don’t want people to think I didn’t care, or wasn’t touched, or didn’t think it was awful, or didn’t feel compassion for the people who were injured and for those who lost loved ones.  I do feel badly.  It is terrible.  Evil is pervasive.  I just have nothing new to say. 

              

Today, as I write (Thursday morning), the focus of people in the Chicago land has changed.  The Boston tragedy has been replaced as a horrible incident by our own concern for flooding.  The city of Elmhurst floods easily, as do surrounding communities.  We had significant rain yesterday, last night and into early this morning.  Many of our families have flooded basements.  Our church building has an inch of water in the basement. 

              

This is how quickly things can change in life.  A terrorist incident can be pushed out of being foremost in our minds by something closer to home, the tyranny of the urgent, or our personal crisis. 

              

Faith carries us. We have faith in God because of God’s faithfulness.  God has led, healed, and empowered people to move on after tragedies.  I have recently watched some of the Sandy Hook parents talk about their grief and loss.  They still have tears, pain, darkness and mourning.  But they also move on through faith and communities of people. 

              

I have faith that God will do the same following the tragedy in Boston and the flooding in the Chicago area. 

              

In the mean time, I remember these words from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount:

        “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”  (Matthew 5:4)

              

I mourn for and with those who suffer from the tragedy in Boston and in the flooding here.

~ Rev

                

The Last Word

Is it just me, or does it happen to you as well?  You make a decision, you pronounce a truth, you set a course, and soon it is challenged by life events.

“I am not buying any more shoes.”  Then the pair you just “have to have” appear on the sale rack of the local store.

“We are not using electronic devices for a week.”  But the pressure from family members and within yourself becomes so intense you decide that was a rash decision and you have to look at your Facebook page.

“I am going to take all of my vacation days this year.”  But then you start to look at the calendar and the demands on our schedule and you can’t imagine how that would be possible.

              

Sometimes it is something much more profound.  Last week on Easter Sunday I proclaimed to our congregation that “…life has a way of throwing things at us that dominate our lives, but God always has the last word.”

              

Today I have things on my plate that dominate my life and make God’s last word harder to hear.  Today I am having what one author calls a “…terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.”

              

Last night I received an email from the young adult son of a congregant describing his father’s battle with cancer as having hit “rock bottom.”  The gist of the news was that the only possible turn around for his father was a miracle from God.  I went into an immediate funk, not that I don’t believe God could do a miracle and not that I wouldn’t pray for a miracle, but the news was depressing.

              

This morning I received word that a pastor friend from Michigan is in the last stages of his battle against cancer.  He, too, has a young family.

              

“…life has a way of throwing things at us that dominate our lives, but God always has the last word.”  My words from last Sunday were being put to the test. 

As I write this morning (Thursday), I believe in my heart and my head that God always has the last word.  But it is some of the words before that final word that weigh me down.  Today Jesus’ wrestling in Gesthemane, and his suffering on the cross with a sense of abandonment and questioning, will dominate my life more than the light of the resurrection.  Jesus lived with some heavy, dark clouds of suffering, anguish and questioning even though he knew full well the ultimate outcome.  I will live there a while myself, knowing full well that at some point God will bring me to a resurrection moment.

There are lots of words in my life right now that are creating dark clouds, God will have the last word.

The Lottery and Good Friday

Jennifer Maldonado had not been at her new job long enough to get her first paycheck.  She had been laid off from her previous job and she has a four-year old son with autism.  She was happy to find employment and the people with whom she worked seemed to be a good fit for her. 

Her colleagues at her new job had formed a lottery pool to play the Power Ball Lottery.  Each employee contributed $20 to the pool.  Jennifer turned down the opportunity to participate because she couldn’t afford it.  Some of her new colleagues told her they would lend her the money, but she declined. 

When Jennifer came to work Sunday, her colleagues were having a big celebration.  They had matched enough numbers in the Power Ball Lottery to win one million dollars!  She was slightly disappointed at first because she had not participated, but she quickly overcame that disappointment to be happy for her colleagues.

Then they informed her that they had unanimously voted in a matter of only seconds to share some of their winnings with her.  Upon learning of their decision Maldonado said, “They’re such great people, I wouldn’t put it past them doing something so phenomenal and so gracious, honestly.”

In a Today show poll 41% of people said they would not have shared their winnings with Maldonado, “you have to be in it, to win it”.  Only 18% said, “yes, it’s the right thing to do.” 

Maldonado was right.  Her colleagues were phenomenal and gracious.
 

Those are the themes of this weekend.  Jesus graciously died on the cross for all human beings.  It was a phenomenal act of love; one that we did not deserve and can barely fathom.  The only perfect person who ever lived, died a brutal death, so we could live.  We don’t deserve it, can’t earn it and didn’t participate.  Jesus included us.  It is phenomenal and gracious.

Jennifer Maldonado was overwhelmed by her colleague’s generosity.

I am overwhelmed by God’s love and grace.

            Accept God’s love. 

Celebrate Jesus’ resurrection!

            Happy Easter!

Living Holy Week

Sunday will be filled with excitement, anticipation, and joy.  That is for the many people from our church who are heading somewhere warm for Spring Break.  However, the same will be true for us hearty souls who remain behind in the frozen tundra of the Midwest.  We will be celebrating Palm Sunday. 

Palm Sunday is one of great celebration in the church.  On Palm Sunday we are reminded of Jesus’ Triumphal entry into Jerusalem for Holy Week.  People heard about his coming and spread the word.  Soon a crowd had gathered at the entrance to Jerusalem lining the street and hailing him with palm branches as king.  All their hopes were in the Jesus basket.  He would somehow overthrow the oppressive Roman government and sit on the throne of King David in Jerusalem and return Israel to her rightful status as a world power.

That was how the week began.  But as the days progressed it became obvious that things weren’t going to work out that way.  In fact, the unspeakable took place.  Jesus not only didn’t occupy a throne, he occupied a cross, the most brutal and shameful death one could die.  All the hopes and dreams of Palm Sunday came crashing down by Friday.  The world went dark.

This is the rhythm of life.  We have moments when we sense God’s blessings poured out into our lives; our marriage is solid, our health is great, our kids are succeeding, and our work is satisfying.  However, in a few days, or hours all that can be overshadowed by a dark cloud; a test result reveals cancer, a child is injured in a car accident, a parent falls to a heart attack, or your boss reports that your job is a victim of cutbacks. 

And not unlike those in Jerusalem 2,000 years ago we wonder, “Why God?”, “What happened, God?”, “How could you let this take place, God?”  Our world goes dark.

This is the broad overview of Holy Week, a week we relive in our own lives, in our own way, frequently.  The Jesus followers who hailed him as Messiah on Palm Sunday, were shrouded in darkness on Friday, but received the powerful good news of the resurrection on Sunday.  It was a week of dramatic ups and downs. 

              

It is hard to think about resurrection and hope in the midst of darkness.  However, that is our advantage over those in Jerusalem when Jesus arrived. For us the resurrection is a fact.  No matter how dark our lives become, no matter how problematic the news we receive, no matter how devastating the diagnosis, we can cling to the hope of the resurrection.  Our greatest fear, death, has been defeated!

              

So, Holy Week, a week we relive regularly, begins.

Power of the Mind

I went to the dentist this week. I have what some would refer to as an “irrational fear” of the dentist.  I know its origin.

In high school I had a lot of dental work done.  My dentist told me I had teeth that incurred decay easily.  Like so many other things in life, dentistry has improved techniques and procedures over the last 45 years.  The Novocain used then wasn’t as effective in eliminating pain.  Consequently, a lot of my dental work was painful.  There were even times when I went in and we didn’t bother with Novocain because it wouldn’t work that well on me and it was only a “minor procedure”.

What I knew was that if you had to go to the dentist, this was the drill (Pun intended).  My dentist was a nice man, a big high school football fan, who even came to some of my games.  In spite of the pain, I didn’t mind going to the dentist.

As I have gotten older, techniques and drugs have improved the experience at the dentist.  I haven’t felt pain during a dental appointment in 30 years.  But as soon as I hear the sound of drills grinding on teeth I feel my whole body tense up anticipating that it is coming.  I have to continually remind myself to relax or my grip on the arms of the chair or I will do permanent damage.  I feel all the tension leave my body and realize how tense I have been, only to have to remind myself again a few minutes later. 

              

The mind is a powerful thing.  We are wired to avoid pain and can rid our conscience selves it, but places, buildings, foods, circumstances, or other people trigger painful memories. 

“…Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  (Romans 12:2)  What is recorded in our minds becomes an unconscious response to people, situations and circumstances.  The things we read, or watch, or participate in, have a huge hand in determining our lives.  I am reminded of the old computer phrase, “garbage in, garbage out”. 

If we put God’s word in our minds, it becomes a part of our hearts.  Our subconscious is filled with God’s perspective, attitude, and values .  We see and experience life the same way Christ does.

Maybe that’s what I’ll think about the next time I hear the dentist drill!

Pileated Woodpecker

I just ran into another old acquaintance who suffers from Pileated Woodpecker Syndrome (PWS).  You won't find this in the medical journals.  It is a "Revism".
 
Pileated woodpeckers are woodpeckers on steroids.  Rather than the normal sized woodpecker they are approximately the size of crows or larger.  They are very common in northern Michigan.  
             
One of the pines in our front yard in Traverse City began to die and soon there were tell tale signs that pileated woodpeckers were visiting.  They peck huge holes in the trees in search of fine dining.  We didn't find the jackhammer like noise of the pecking annoying.  It was actually kind of cool.  They visited regularly and pecked and pecked away at the tree.  We began to wonder how there could be anything more to dine on inside because there didn't seem to be much left of the tree.  It was slowly disintegrating before our eyes.

One Saturday we left to run our errands only to return and find that the pileated woodpecker pine had collapsed across the driveway.  I wasn't sure what I would do.  How would I move the tree?  It had been dead for so long and was so depleted by the woodpeckers it weighed next to nothing.  It was easily moved.

I was reminded of this incident when I ran into an acquaintance from my Hope College days last weekend.  He was a student when I was a Chaplain at Hope and after graduating from Hope he went to Western Seminary across the street.  Our paths crossed frequently.  Besides being part of the clergy union he shares my addiction to basketball!  I asked where he was currently serving and he said he had recently left ministry and was currently painting.  I was saddened by the news and my grief increased when he said, "I got tired of being beaten up in the church all the time.  I couldn't take it anymore."  Then he said, "You probably can take it because you've got that football mentality.  I couldn't do it any more."

I call this "Pileated Woodpecker Syndrome".  And it is common among clergy.  Statistics indicate that 1,500 pastors will quit the ministry each month!  80% of pastors feel discouraged in their work (84% of their spouses are discouraged).  70% of pastors say they do not have someone they consider a close friend.  Pastors who work 50 hours a week are 35% more likely to be fired than those who work more than 50 hours per week.

It usually isn't one big thing that leads pastors to quit the ministry.  It is usually an accumulation of constant complaining and negativity, like daily visits from a pileated woodpecker.  Eventually pastors can't take it any longer and they fall over.

I have thought a lot about my recent conversation with my friend.  I've had times of difficulty, discouragement, darkness and loneliness in ministry.  I've been criticized publicly and privately, to my face and behind my back.  Some of it has been well founded and helpful; some, not so much.  But, for me, the days of joy, encouragement, seeing lives change, watching people and churches come alive, the sense that God is using me, yes me, in spite of myself have far outweighed the darkness and discouragement.

This doesn't make me any better, or stronger, or more courageous than any other pastor.  It only makes me thankful for God's grace and mercy poured out on my life.  "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance."  (Psalm 16:6)

Today I feel bad for my old friend and other pastors who struggle with discouragement.  And I feel a great deal of gratitude for God's blessings in my life.

~Rev

My Former Boss

One of my former bosses is retiring.  He only had his position for a little more than 8 years.  His retirement shocked some people.  It is unheard of in his field. 

That’s right, I’m talking about Pope Benedict XVI. 

For five years I coached basketball at Traverse City St. Francis High School. I love basketball, I love high school kids and the Athletic Director asked me to coach in the women’s program.  That led to the Varsity Men’s Coach asking me to assist him with the men’s program.  So, I did both.

Not everyone understood.  The pastor of a local Protestant church was coaching at a Catholic High School?  There was muttering and disapproval from both sides of the Christian aisle. We didn’t think we were doing anything groundbreaking.  Nor was that the point.  My daughter attended the high school.  They knew I had a coaching background.  They needed a mature (old) coach for some of their special circumstances and they asked me to do it. 

Two things were clear from the outset.  My primary job as Senior Pastor of our congregation would always take precedence over my basketball duties.  They were a Catholic school and I would not undermine their faith view and practices. 

The groundwork for such an arrangement had been laid in the 1990’s in a movement led by Chuck Colson and Father Richard John Neuhaus who formed Evangelicals and Catholics together.  The movement was supported and endorsed by other evangelicals including theologian J.I. Packer and Bill Bright.  They received a great deal of push back and lots of hate mail.  Colson reported that this venture adversely affected financial contributions to Prison Fellowship.  But they pressed on.

              

Rather than focusing on the differences between the two methods of nurturing the Christian faith, they focused on what they had in common.  In a document entitled, The Gift of Salvation, they affirmed together that “Justification is not earned by any good works or merits of our own; it is entirely God’s gift conferred through the Father’s sheer graciousness.”

It was clear to me while coaching at St. Francis that the local priests were held in high esteem and school policy and practices were always approved by them.  It was clear to me that the priests, administrators, teachers and students at St. Francis held the Pope in high esteem as their religious leader.  They didn’t agree with every papal stance, but they respected his positions.  As an invited guest employee I was expected to do the same.  The school respected that we had different views and practices of our faith.  I encouraged my players in the practice of their faith and answered their questions (and complaints) carefully and respectfully.  Ultimately the Pope was my boss.

              

For some people I was simply a basketball coach.  For them I was evaluated on my coaching ability.  But for many, my coaching was a symbol of unity in the body of Christ.  It was an affirmation of what C. S. Lewis referred to as Mere Christianity.  Whether a practicing Catholic or Protestant we affirm such fundamentals as the Virgin Birth, the deity of Christ, the atonement, the resurrection, the authority of Scripture, and the second coming.

              

1.2 billion people identify as Roman Catholics in the world.  Today they are praying for God’s guidance and direction in choosing a new leader.  I will join in with them as brothers and sisters in Christ.

Angry With Others and Myself

It is the season of Lent, the 40 days immediately preceding Easter. It is patterned after Jesus’ 40 days in the wilderness. Jesus fasted and prayed seeking God’s will and direction. The writers of His biographies record three temptations He faced from Satan during this time. Each temptation was defeated when Jesus quoted scripture. Knowing God’s perspective and claiming as our own always repels temptation.

This year our church is combining Lenten practices with exercise. We are encouraged to walk or exercise in some way for at least 20 minutes of silence reflecting on a scripture or a devotional thought. Monday’s passage for reflection was: “Do not be angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, for you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” – From The Imitation of Christ

I began my day reflecting on that thought for 20 minutes of my normal morning walk. Then I wrestled with it for the rest of the day and periodically ever since.

I do get frustrated when people don’t see the world the way I see the world. Why can’t everyone interpret scripture the way I do? Why do some people view urban problems differently than me? Why doesn’t everyone like the same things in worship that I like? How can some people major in what I consider to be the minors? How can some people still be racist? Or insensitive to those who live in poverty? Or lack compassion for single parents?

Why can’t my wife be more of a sports fan? Why don’t my kids adopt the same priorities I have in life?

It is frustrating that people cannot be as I want them to be. It is even more frustrating that I cannot be who I want to be. I let myself down daily. I do not meet my expectations. Like the Apostle Paul, I do not do what I want to do and I do what I don’t want to do. I repeat sins that I desperately want to avoid. I cannot make myself as I wish to be, so how can I be angry that I cannot make others as I wish them to be? Tough question.

Can I offer all people I encounter more grace, more understanding, and more acceptance? I pray I can. 

~Rev

The Vision...An Invitation

Rev's Reflection: The Vision...An Invitation from Elmhurst CRC on Vimeo.

It Has to Stop!

It has to stop!

A declaration? A demand? An exclamation?  More like a plea. 

Please, God, it has to stop!

In a month in which many Christians acknowledge support of the sanctity of life, over 40 people of all ages were killed in Chicago by gun violence.  If we truly value life from “its conception to its natural end” as many say, each and every one of these lives that were lost were should alarm us.  They were all created in the image of God.  God weeps when His image is wiped out.

Some of the deaths get more attention than others.  Two men shot down in front of a hamburger stand is alarming.  A woman gunned down in her car on the ramp from Lake Shore Drive, peaks our curiosity.  The death of 15 year old Hadiyah Pendleton, shot after school while she was seeking shelter under a play structure from the rain, garners national attention and increases our ire.  Her death became national news.  All of these shooting deaths are sad.

Our collective hearts broke when 26 children and adults were murdered in one day at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  Chicago is experiencing Sandy Hook in slow motion…40+ deaths in one month. 

Public debates rage between gun rights and gun restriction advocates.  The argument that guns don’t kill people, people kill people is lost on me.  People are sinful and if they have access to weapons they will use them for evil purposes.  Drugs don’t kill people, people misuse drugs.  Yet, we have laws that limit drugs, even legal drugs, to protect us from ourselves.

From a Christian perspective, this is not an urban problem, or a Chicago problem, or a South Side problem.  This is “our” problem.  We are part of God’s kingdom trying to spread His influence everywhere.  If some part of His kingdom is hurting, we need to figure out how we can increase His influence. 

Putting an end to murders in Chicago is an overwhelming challenge.  Who would know where to begin, or what to do?  But famine, war, poverty and world hunger, are also overwhelming challenges, but we get involved at some level to make a difference.  I can’t solve the murder problem in Chicago, but I can do something.  I’m not sure exactly what that is, but I believe God wants me/us to do something.

              
So, I am going to pray.  I am going to plead to God that He miraculously intervene and put an end to the violence. 

              
I am going to pray, that God will show me what I can do to help in my little sphere of influence, in my corner of the world, with my gifts and talents.

              
I am not going to start a national program, or propose denominational involvement, or encourage our congregation to take on this problem.  I am going to seek God’s leading to use me to make a little bit of difference, to do my part. 

              
These murders are symptoms of a greater problem in our culture.  They are intertwined with poverty, racism, classism, lack of educational opportunities and, in my opinion, one of the greatest missing links in peoples’ lives, the absence of mentors and role models. 

              
I have no idea what might come of this, or what God will do.  This is all I do know:

It has to stop!

A New Role

Sometime in August I will be taking on a new role.

This happens in life.  As we mature and grow through life stages we are forced to take on new roles.  I went from being a high school student who lived at home with my mom and brother in a structured setting, to being a college student who was independent, living in a dormitory with 299 other freshmen boys.  I went from being a carefree college student, where I was basically responsible for myself, to being a teacher and a coach, where I was suddenly responsible for the learning and performance of high school kids.  I went from being a boyfriend, to being a husband. I was a son and son-in-law. I was a brother and a brother-in-law.

              

I took on the role of being a college chaplain and a college coach. I went from being a husband, to being a father. I played the role of a staff member at a large church and then being the Lead Pastor of other churches. 

              

Sometimes I took one role, but ended up playing others. I coached teams, but I also became a mentor and sometimes a surrogate parent. I was a father to my own kids, but also a trusted advisor and mentor to their friends. I was a spectator at my kids games and also a confidant and counselor to other parents. 

              

I have had to play some roles for which I was completely unprepared. Our middle child, Jesse, was a soccer player and one year we were late in getting him signed up for a team.  When coaches found out that Jesse was available to be on a team, they all wanted him, but the league officials said he could only be on a team if I was one of the coaches. A coach called me and asked me to be an assistant coach.  I told him I knew nothing about soccer. He said I didn’t have to do anything but show up, what he really wanted was Jesse on his team!

              

That is the way life goes. God puts us in places and asks us to play roles. Sometimes we are ready and eager, and we are embracing long-awaited opportunities. In other situations we are caught off guard.  We feel totally inadequate and we need to simply fall to our knees and be completely dependent on God for wisdom, insight and strength. 

              

In my new role, I will be embracing a long-awaited opportunity for which I couldn’t be more grateful.  At the same time, it is a role I have never played before, which means I will be totally dependent on God.

              

My children, Jesse and Marta, are making me a Grandpa!  

Continued Influence

When I played football at Hope College we played at Riverview Park, a city owned facility North of campus with a perfect view of a swamp!  It was quaint.  The stands on the North side were covered!  Hope students filled the stands on the South side that were about five yards behind the visitor’s bench.  It led to some interesting exchanges!

              

The city built a brand new Municipal Stadium adjacent to Hope’s campus in the late 70’s which has been the home of Hope College football ever since.  The field was also shared with local high school teams and was made available for other events for the city of Holland.  Each year, as the football season wore on, the field deteriorated from overuse.  If it was a rainy fall the games looked like they were being played in a mud bowl.  It was at the best embarrassing, and at the worst possibly dangerous.

              

This year Hope College bought the stadium from the city.  This was much to the city’s relief in that they could no longer afford to maintain the facility or make necessary improvements.  Hope immediately installed artificial turf and made necessary upgrades to other aspects of the facility.  It is beautiful.

              

Last week Hope announced that the stadium would be named the Ray and Sue Smith Stadium in honor of Ray Smith’s 25 years of service as Hope’s football coach.  Ray holds Hope College, MIAA, and national Division III coaching records.  It is a well-deserved honor.

              

Through God’s providence Ray Smith came to Hope College as football coach my sophomore year. He had an immediate impact on the football program, but more importantly on my life personally.  Ray was more than a coach.  He was a role model and a mentor for me of what it meant for a man to be a fully-devoted disciple of Jesus Christ.  He talked the talk and walked the walk.  God used Ray Smith to shape me into the person I am today.  Ray Smith challenged me to take my faith more seriously and he demonstrated God’s belief in me and my gifts with his own belief in me and my gifts. 

              

When I was wrestling with the decision of leaving teaching and coaching and entering ministry, Becky and I met with Ray and Sue to get their opinion. They started to cry.  My first thought was that the thought of me in ministry was so painful that it brought them to tears.  Ray and Sue told us that they had been praying that I would go into ministry for two years!

              

Ray asked me to join his coaching staff when I returned to Holland for seminary after one year of teaching.  He believed that I could coach at the college level and coach people that had been my teammates two years earlier.  He and Sue have constantly encouraged me in my ministry.  We remain good friends and play golf together several times a year.  I remember the influence Ray had on my life and try to influence others similarly in my own ministry.

              

God puts people in our lives at certain times when we need them the most.  He did that for us with Ray and Sue Smith and I thank God for their influence every day.  I encourage you to remember the people God has used to influence your life and to let them know how much you appreciate that influence.

Next time you get to Holland, visit Ray and Sue Smith Stadium!

Lessons From Lincoln

Between Christmas and the beginning of the New Year we saw the movie Lincoln.  The movie is based on the book Team of Rivals, by Doris Kearns Goodwin, an historian.  Steven Spielberg’s movie is historical fiction.  That means that he had to spice it up a little bit to make it more exciting than just history. 

We loved the movie.

It was a movie of dialogue.  It didn’t try to keep your interest with action, or relational suspense. 

Without getting tripped up on what was historical and what was fiction, here are some observations from the movie.

 1.     Personal convictions clash with public policy, but we need to hang in there with our personal convictions.  Lincoln was convinced that slavery was wrong, inhumane and ran against God’s desires.  “All men are created equal”…all men, regardless of race, color or creed.  This was Lincoln’s conviction and he fought for it in spite of unpopularity, threats and attempts at political blackmail.

2.     It is possible to disagree without being disagreeable; to be divided, but not divisive.  This would be a lesson we could keep in mind today.  We are displaying less and less ability to disagree with one another without it being divisive.  Certainly there were different sides to the slavery debate.  Some felt strongly about the issue on both sides.  It was divisive.  But there were people on both sides of the issue that could disagree without being disagreeable.  Slavery didn’t have to be divisive.  They could see things differently and still be friends, get along, support one another. This is the model of Jesus.  It is important for Christ followers to be able to disagree with one another, but not see each other as the enemy. 

3.     When we are passionate about something it requires energy, effort, multiple conversations, listening and sometimes compromise.  Any married couple knows this.  Lincoln was tireless in his efforts to get the 13^th amendment passed. 

4.     Leaders have personal lives that weigh on them as well as their public lives.  The movie portrayed Lincoln and his wife raising a young son in the White House and a young adult son who was wrestling with his future. Mrs. Lincoln had some “mental health issues” that made life difficult for the President.  We sometimes forget that the job of leaders place demands on them 24/7, and they also have husbands, or wives and children that demand their attention and their emotional energy.

5.     The nation was able to function without computers, the internet, email, Facebook, Twitter, or 24/7 news coverage.   Can you imagine?

Movies can give you lots of food for thought.