Run Over by a Truck

Wednesday morning I was run over by a truck.

         

At least that is the way it felt. I got the call telling me that Sarah, a young woman from our congregation, had died following complications from a routine medical procedure.

         

Sarah was 29 and extremely bright. She worked in the financial world and was in an MBA program at University of Chicago. Her husband, Ben, is in a Ph.D. program at Wheaton College. Young, intelligent, dedicated disciples of Jesus Christ with a bright future before them. Suddenly, unexpectedly, tragically, one of them is gone.

         

I felt like I had been run over by a truck.

         

No matter how many times over the years I have received this kind of tragic news about a congregant or an acquaintance, it still wipes me out. I get a feeling in my stomach that is like the aftermath of having the wind knocked out of me, but it never goes away.

         

How do you respond?

         

I am a person whose life-work centers around oral communication and who has embraced the task of communicating God’s word to people. On these occasions I feel stymied. Over time I have learned that there is nothing I can say that will change anything, or make the situation less tragic or devastating. I have changed my prayers in these situations from asking God to give me the right words, to asking God to help me to listen well and to be appropriate; to be fully present with others emotionally. One thing I don’t do is to try and spiritualize things, which often makes it feel like you are dismissing the heaviness of the loss.

         

When I received the news I wanted to go home and hug my wife and call my kids. It was the same reaction I had on 9/11/2001. My immediate response to the collapsing of the twin towers was to find my family and hug them. When I am overwhelmed by loss my reaction is to want to make sure those I love know I love them.

           

I find comfort in knowing that Sarah has inherited eternal life. But that comfort is weighed down by sorrow. I carry a heavy heart for Ben and the rest of their family and friends who have a gaping hole in their lives.

         

God and I are having some serious discussions.

         

Today the opening words of Psalm 4 echo in my mind:

          “Answer us when we call to you,

          O righteous God.

          Give us relief from our distress;

          be merciful to us and hear our prayer.” (Psalm 4:1)

         

(I have substituted plural pronouns for the singular because I believe this is the prayer of many today.)

         

Please join me in praying for Ben and for his and Sarah’s family and friends, during this very difficult time. And go hug the people you love!

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