The Journey

Today is our middle child’s birthday. I don’t know about you, but my kids birthdays cause me to reflect on their lives. Often, I get flashbacks to particular events that remain significant and serve as a way of shaping me into the person I am today. For instance, I remember the day Jesse was born. Actually, not the day, but the experience of his birth.

Conceiving a child and carrying babies to full term had been a challenge for us. It wasn’t something we had ever considered and we certainly weren’t prepared for the pain; emotional, physical and spiritual, that accompanied the numerous miscarriages that took place. There were at least four or five miscarriages before we moved down the road to adoption.

We joyfully adopted our oldest child, Ben, when he was three years old. It was a year later that we moved from Holland, Mi. to Downers Grove. The next year Jesse was conceived and we, along with family and friends, prayed that we would be able to carry him full term. Our prayers were answered, and late on November 17, we went to Good Samaritan Hospital in Downers Grove.

We had taken the birthing classes, read the books and heard the stories of our friends’ birth experiences. In keeping with our over-educated selves, we were well prepared...so we thought. Like so many other things in life, we knew about giving birth, but we didn’t have a clue what the birthing experience would actually be like.

It was a bit of an odd position. We had a four year old child, but had never given birth. Our birthing story isn’t necessarily that unique; the sterile room, the gentle nurses, the waiting; the doctor...appearing, measuring, looking, announcing progress, and then leaving; the waiting; the doctor reappearing; the pushing, the failed attempts on my part to help bring comfort and peace; the waiting; the screaming; the anxiety. But for us, seeds of doubt, concern and fear lingered; the unspoken question: we had lost babies before, would this go well for us?

There may be nothing more intense than the last few minutes of drama during a child’s birth as a mother pushes, doctors and nurses and husbands encourage, machines beep and hiss, and strangers walk in and out assisting.

Finally, Jesse was born! Tears flowed, tight embraces were shared, our eyes were wide with the wonder of a child born. The umbilical cord was cut and the doctor quickly took Jesse to a table in the room. Nurses rushed around the table as well. They worked quickly and spoke in hushed tones.

“What’s going on?” Becky shouted. No answer. We were in a panic. Seconds ticked away, they seemed like hours. Finally, screaming and crying from Jesse...a beautiful and joyful sound.

“He was having a little trouble breathing,” the doctor said, “nothing serious”.

Really, nothing serious? Are you kidding me? All the history of lost babies had been racing through our minds; doubt, fear, panic. They were all erased as he was returned to us. Finally we had done it! Successful conception, full term pregnancy, and healthy birth. God’s gift to us.

         

Four years later, God did it again and Libby was born!

Three children, all given to us in very different ways. Who knew that something we take for granted, which seems so natural, would be such a journey?

         

No one has an easy life journey. We all have ups and downs, twists and turns, barricades and barriers. The good news is: we are not alone on this journey. In the dark moments, as we grieved our miscarriages, God surrounded us with caring, loving and supportive friends and family members, as well as the healing presence of the Holy Spirit. In that birthing room there were nurses, technicians and a doctor, but most importantly the Great Physician, Jesus Christ, was present. Through that experience, God taught us lessons about faith, trust and the power of prayer, which have served us well in other dark moments of our life journey. Like so many of you, we have been confronted in life with things that don’t make sense, that are painful, and that seem unfair. When that happens, we can reflect on God’s faithfulness and how He has seen us through all pain and difficulty living life can bring.

         

And for that, I am thankful!